"That's when those lies and whispers began: What kind of mother are you? You are a terrible mother. "I was very happy with just my two children, and I began to feel such unbelievable guilt that I would even have these feelings. "I think the guilt began to set in right from the beginning, because I didn't want to be pregnant," Natalie said. but how could she possibly keep all of the plates spinning with a third child added to the mix? She could balance her ministry, her touring schedule, and her calling as a wife and mother of two. "Fast forward three years, and no medical treatments, no drugs, no shots, no nothing and I turned out pregnant with Sadie and yeah, it was a miracle, but also the miracle I never asked for," Natalie confesses. An Unexpected Miracle and Unbelievable Guilt She soon discovered a manageable rhythm between her family and career, and by the time the twins were three, she was satisfied and content with a balancing act she could comfortably navigate. With a burgeoning music career, a loving husband and two happy, healthy twin girls, Natalie had everything she could ever ask for. However, when the elated mother-to-be went to the doctor for her first ultrasound, she was given another unexpected surprise-two heartbeats.īella and Gracie were the long-awaited miracles for which they had fervently prayed. Seventy-six shots later, Natalie turned up pregnant. After prayerful consideration, they decided to pursue fertility treatments. Pursuing Fertility Treatmentįive years into marriage, the thought of not having children was a test of the couple's faith. The two became friends, eventually started dating, and the rest is history.
"It took him a lot longer to figure out that he loved me but after the day I met him, I called my parents and said, ‘I met this guy, and if he asked me to marry him tomorrow, I would say, yes,'" Natalie candidly shares, laughing. Someone recommended Bernie, and Natalie hired him. The Seattle native was showcasing her music for labels and needed a piano player. The two originally met after Natalie moved to Nashville in search of a record deal.
Natalie and her husband-award-winning songwriter and producer Bernie Herms-who she will celebrate 16 years of marriage with in August, had waited more than five years before entertaining the idea of starting a family since they both had demanding careers that required extensive travel. "A song I thought I would always sing to encourage somebody else was actually a lifeline for me that night," Natalie said. This is not going to be our story."Ī few hours later, Natalie took the stage with Wynona Judd, singing a song they had recorded together about how God brings everything together for good, just as her personal dream of bearing children began to crumble. "I just remember my head started to spin, and I thought, There's no way. It was the doctor's office saying, ‘Hey, we have all of your results back, and you guys have less than a one percent chance of conceiving a child,'" Natalie said. "Here I was about to go do this dreamy event, and my phone rang. "Less Than One Percent Chance of Conceiving. For five-time GMA Female Vocalist of the Year, Natalie Grant, it marked the beginning of an unexpected nightmare. For most musicians, singing at Nashville's famed Ryman Auditorium with one of your musical heroes is a bucket list kind of event.
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